Trans bodies
The experience of gender and one's own body can be important in sex and pleasure. Being transgender does not automatically mean having a desire to change your body, but it can affect how you choose to use your body for pleasure and sex. For those who have undergone surgery or hormone therapy, it can also have an impact on pleasure and sexual practice.
Every person has the right to name their body and its different parts, and it is up to you to decide what you want to call the parts of your body. Communicate with your partner about what words you prefer to use for your own bodies. For example, you can refer to your sex as a cock - regardless of what the sex looks like. You can say you want to be fucked in the pussy, but use your anal as cunt. Words can do wonders.
The body after surgery
Many transgender people have a desire to change their body in different ways so that it better matches their own identity and body image. If you undergo genital surgery, you need to heal properly before you start practicing sex with your new genitals. The time it takes for a body to heal is individual. It is best to talk to your doctor. You can of course have sex with parts of your body other than your genitals - but please wait a few weeks. For all major procedures, it is important to rest for the first few weeks: no vigorous movements or overly strenuous activities! Again, it's a good idea to check with your doctor, but above all it's important to listen to your body. When it comes to breast surgery, it is important to be careful and avoid accessing the area before it is healed. Following abdominal surgery, most people are usually able to have good sex and have an orgasm. Feel free to use some extra lubrication during vaginal sex. Taking hormones can affect both sex drive and feelings - listen to what is happening in your body.
Fucking without feeling misgendered
Being able to fuck without feeling gendered in a way you don't feel comfortable with is usually crucial for sex to be enjoyable and hot. This means different things to different people and there are obviously no general rules that apply to everyone who is or has been trans in one way or another. However, in addition to direct communication, one tip is to think about the words you use with your partner.
Word choice and communication
To suck someone off or to lick? Choose the word that feels best. Wanking can be done with both pussies and cocks, while for some the word is most associated with cocks. It might be worth thinking about what the word signals to you and your partners. For some people, it is important to avoid gender-specific words. Instead of "cock" or "pussy"; use "sex" for example. You can say "go down on" or "take the sex in your mouth" instead of lick/suck. Similarly, "be inside you", "have you around me" or "have you inside/on me" can be more neutral ways of talking. Others, on the other hand, go for specific names of the cock, ass, pussy or whatever organ you want to call it.
Consent and respect
It's important to talk to the person you're sleeping with about where and how it's okay to touch their body. This doesn't just apply if you're sleeping with someone with trans experience; asking and checking what feels good and right is central to making the sex good for all parties involved. It is also important not to decide on your own how your sexual partner sees your body. Everyone is different and uses their body in different ways. Even if you sleep with someone who wants to correct their body, it is far from certain that the relationship with the body, for example the innate sexual organ, is problematic.
Clothes, words, sex toys or positions can be crucial to make the sex really good and make you feel comfortable. Try it out!
