Pain during anal sex

Anal sex requires patience, especially when you are a beginner. If anal sex hurts, it's usually because you're trying to insert something into your anal cavity too quickly when your sphincter muscles aren't ready to resist. The sphincters are elastic but need to be warmed up to stop it hurting. Here you can use the 15-second rule. This means using your fingers to apply light but firm pressure to the anal opening to relax it.

Use lubricant and take it easy

For comfort and to avoid damaging anything in the anal area, a lubricant is useful. When you press against the opening, the external sphincter opens and the internal sphincter follows. Once the sphincters have reacted and opened up, you can insert fingers or larger objects into the anal cavity without pain. If you want to insert something bigger like a cock or dildo, it may take a while. So start gently, first with one finger and then try more. Some people also find it nice and easy to warm up with a butt plug. The anal area does not have its own lubrication, so lubricant is needed.

Anal sex should not hurt. That's why it's important to learn how the sphincter muscles work and give it time. Sometimes you may find that penetration is too fast or that it still hurts. If it hurts, you need to pause and take a step back. Use plenty of lube and listen to your bodies. It's important to communicate with your partners to make it a good experience for everyone involved.

Can I damage my ass?

Injury or relaxation of the sphincter muscle in the ass is rare in anal sex as long as you are careful and everyone agrees to what you are doing. Often such effects are a consequence of intense stretching in the form of larger dildos and fisting over a longer period of time.
So the sphincter in the anal opening normally goes back to its previous state, but it becomes more stretchy and flexible if you have frequent anal sex.
If you get caught, you should avoid being under the influence of drugs or alcohol, which can reduce your ability to sense if something is wrong or make you less likely to tell you if it hurts and therefore increase the risk of injury. A drink or two might work, but if you're wasted it's sometimes best to stick to a wank or blow job and wait until the morning after. The same goes for poppers and lubricants with a numbing effect. There are lubricants specifically for anal sex that have a relaxing effect without taking away sensation. This could be an option if you want to try something new and see if it works better.

For those who do not want to

There is no reason to have anal sex if it doesn't turn you on or if you don't want to. Sex is something that should be fun and pleasurable. If someone tries to pressure you, you need to speak up. There are many people who are not into anal sex so you are not alone. Then there are many people who may not love being fucked but who get off on watching their partners enjoy themselves. You'll have to decide for yourself what you're prepared to put up with. The important thing is that there is consent and that you don't hurt yourself. Anal sex may not be your thing, but it's also something that many people learn to love with time and experience.

To sum up:

• Use plenty of lube and warm up with fingers or smaller toys.
• Use condoms to reduce the risk of HIV and STIs. 
• Pressure/15-second rule
• Communicate and find comfortable positions
• Listen to your body
• Enjoy!