Erection problems
Anyone with a cock may at some point experience problems with their erection, not getting hard when they want to, or their cock going flaccid faster than they intended. It's very common and completely harmless. For most people, it's related to stress, the mood of the day, anxiety or a lack of desire. It can also be due to medication, blood pressure or diabetes. Many people find that erections become less spontaneous with age, but it can happen to anyone, whether you're 20 or 70.
Why doesn't it always work?
Erection problems can be caused by several different factors, often in combination with each other. To get an erection, both body and brain need to work together, so there are several things that can cause problems.
A common cause of erectile dysfunction is stress and difficulty relaxing. Contrary to popular belief, increased tension can make it harder to get an erection. For the erection to work, the body must be relaxed. Wanting to perform and get an erection can in itself create a pressure that makes it harder to relax. If it works during masturbation or if you have morning wood, it's usually not a physical problem, but rather a mental problem. Talking to your partner and perhaps trying something else that doesn't require an erection can sometimes reduce erection stress and make us more relaxed, which can help with the erection.
Sometimes erectile dysfunction can also be caused by other factors such as high blood pressure, diabetes, obesity and nerve damage. Some surgeries, such as prostate surgery, can affect erectile function. Certain medications such as antidepressants or beta-blockers are common drugs that can affect the erection. In these cases, it may be helpful to talk to your doctor. Whether erectile dysfunction is caused by physical or medical reasons, it can lead to stress and feelings of failure, which in turn can affect desire and erection.
Alcohol and some drugs can affect desire by releasing inhibitions, which can make it easier to relax. However, it can also make it difficult to get or keep a hard-on, often referred to as 'wine belly'.
The pressure to perform
The ability to get an erection is often linked to self-esteem, masculinity and sexual ability. When an erection doesn't work, it can lead to anxiety, shame or feelings of inadequacy, which in turn increases the risk of problems. It can easily become a vicious circle: worry → erection failure → more worry.
Worrying about not getting an erection during the next fuck can thus create more stress and make it harder to achieve an erection. Many people get into the mindset that "next time I will succeed in getting an erection" which can make the disappointment even greater if the erection does not appear.
It may also have to do with how we view sex. If the focus is always on penetration, the pressure is greater. Broadening your view of sex and trying to focus on caressing, oral sex or sex toys can reduce the pressure and find new ways to enjoy yourself even if your erection fails. Just because your dick isn't hard doesn't mean you can't enjoy it, did you know that even limp dicks can orgasm? So next time your dick doesn't do what you want, try giving some love to that limp dick!
Aids and treatment
- Sex toys such as cock rings can help keep blood in the cock and make the erection feel more powerful or last longer. Penis pumps can stimulate blood flow and make an erection feel fuller. However, neither penis pumps nor cock rings can create a hard-on.
- There are potency drugs such as Viagra, Cialis or Levitra that can help with the erection and are taken about 30-60 minutes before sex. All of these are prescription drugs and must be prescribed by a doctor, avoid buying drugs on the internet as you can never be completely sure what is in them. NOTE: Viagra and other potency drugs should never be mixed with poppers and nitrates, both lower blood pressure and together they can make you faint or have serious heart problems
- Regular exercise, less stress, less alcohol and avoiding nicotine often improve both health and erectile function
- For people with chronic erection problems, often as a result of surgery or similar, a small penis pump can be inserted to help with erections.
When should you seek help?
If you feel that erectile dysfunction is affecting your quality of life or if it has been going on for more than six months, you can seek help. There is treatment available and you don't have to go around worrying alone. You can go to your health center, a urologist or a sexology clinic for help.
To take with you
- Not always getting an erection when you want to is common and completely harmless.
- Your status says nothing about your value as a person.
- Sex can be pleasurable in many ways - even without a hard-on.
- Help, advice and treatment are available for those who need it.
