Lack of sex drive
A lack of sex drive may mean that you feel less horny than before or that the desire has disappeared completely. Few people manage to fuck like a stallion throughout their lives. Desire varies in different periods. For others, it may be that they have never had any real sex drive. In some cases, it may be your partner who raises the issue even if you have not thought about it yourself.
The most common reasons for lack of sex drive are
- Difficulty sleeping
- stress
- Low mood
- Relationships
- Medication of various kinds
- Trauma
Being horny and having desire goes in periods
Desire is not constant and most people have periods where they are more or less horny. It can also be a matter of changing preferences and wanting sex and intimacy in different ways than before.
For many people, a lack of sex drive only becomes a problem when their partner brings it up. Then it can be difficult to feel that it is okay not to be horny. Most people who seek help are in a relationship. Feeling pressured can have an even more negative impact on sex drive. Like the desire is an achievement in itself. The desire to have sex can also become a stress. In other words, it can become a vicious circle. This can be a good thing to consider if you have a partner who is taking a break from sex.
How can you get the desire back?
If you want to get your sex drive back, you first need to understand what's wrong. Is it stressful at work and does it follow you home? Are you not having the sex you want? Are you not getting enough sleep? Prolonged stress has a negative impact on both the body and the brain. For many people, it also affects their relationships and causes sleep problems. Sex drive is strongly linked to how you feel in general.
Try to address what is not working in your life and find routines for food, exercise and sleep. Communicate with your partners and review if there is anything in your sex life that you are not happy with. If you have had bad sex for a while or sex that has not been pleasurable, it can affect your desire. After a while, sex with a regular partner can feel familiar and without surprises. It's easy as a sex educator to talk about threesomes or recommend a new dildo, but it may not work for you and your partner. What would work?
When relationships affect desire
Relationship breakdowns are another thing that can affect desire. Stormy fights can certainly lead to hot makeup sex, but it's not something that lasts in the long run. If you have problems with your relationship over time, you should consider professional help. After a long period of singleness and countless one-night stands, even that can feel boring.
Sex drive can rarely be treated with medication, but many people report that going to therapy has helped. If you feel that you would like support in addressing your sex drive, this may be a good way to go.
