Chemsex and sexual assault
In the context of chemsex, it is easy for the boundaries of consent to become unclear. If you use drugs to push your boundaries or reduce inhibitions, you run the risk of crossing your own or others' boundaries. The high, the validation, the expectations in the room - all affect what feels okay. And sometimes it goes too far.Chemsex always comes with various risks that can affect your physical or mental health. It is therefore important to have strategies to reduce the risks as early as possible.
When someone is heavily under the influence, for example of GHB or ketamine, it can be difficult or impossible to give a clear yes or no. Other drugs can make it more difficult to read a person's signals or ability to consent to sex. It is not uncommon for people with experience of chemsex to talk about experiences where something didn't feel right, but it can also be difficult to put into words what happened. Perhaps because they don't remember or because they don't dare to talk about it. Some people think that "if you're in the game, you have to play the game", but attending a chemsex party or taking drugs is not a substitute for consent. If you are unsure whether someone has taken too much or cannot consent, it is always best to ask and check how the person is feeling.
It is important to remember that safewords or clear signals can be a good way to create safety - but they do not always work. If someone is heavily under the influence, it can be difficult to use the agreed signals. It is always better to be on the safe side and not push further.
If you see something - say something
If you are at a chemsex party or darkroom and notice that someone seems unconscious, out of it or unresponsive - stop immediately. Leaving someone who has overdosed on GHB, for example, in a so-called G-hole, or in any other state where they can no longer take care of themselves, can be fatal. Being unconscious or in a G-hole also means that you cannot consent to sex.
Active spectatorship is about not turning a blind eye if you see something that doesn't seem right, but daring to act, even if you are not directly involved. It doesn't have to be dramatic, you don't have to be sure that something is an abuse - it's enough that something doesn't feel right.
It can be about that:
- Go up and ask how someone is doing.
- Interrupt an ongoing event with an apology, for example "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
- Tell someone else you trust and act together.
Think in advance about what you could do if something doesn't feel right - it's often easier to act in the moment. And remember: you don't have to do everything yourself. Sometimes you just need to be the one to see, react and help.
If it happened to you
If you've been through something that didn't feel right, or if you suspect you've been abused during chemsex, help is available. You are not alone, and it is not your fault.
In Stockholm you can turn to The emergency room for victims of rape at Södersjukhuset. They offer both medical support and counseling, and can help you file a police report if you wish. You can also get help via The sexpert curators or a reception that Vein health.
Talk to someone
Talking about abuse can be difficult - especially if it happened in an environment where you may have been affected or not know exactly what happened. But you don't need to have all the answers to reach out. Putting it into words with someone else, like a friend or a counselor, can be a first step towards feeling better.
